My Grandad

Taking a break from the building project for a moment, I'm going to post a little piece about my Grandad. He died seven years ago this week and he was the finest man I've ever known.

He was a Yorkshire miner of humble beginnings who went down the pit at the age of 14 as a "Bevin boy". He worked his way up through self-education and sheer hard work to become a mining engineer with responsibility for several pits in the Worksop area. He married my Nana and raised two girls who he adored.

He was a keen footballer but he didn't like the way modern footballers conducted themselves. He was highly financially astute and had a deep understanding of investments. He voted Conservative.

He could build or fix anything. He loved ballet. He abhorred bad language. He was a very quiet man of absolute integrity. He was an excellent ballroom dancer. He had endless patience. He was utterly devoted to his wife and family.

I never heard him raise his voice in anger.

He was a true gentleman in every sense of the word. He was an enormous fan of this poem by Rudyard Kipling, and this is how he strived to live his life. He succeeded.

IF

If you can keep you head when all about you are losing theirs,
And blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait, and not be tired of waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies;
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, or talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoguhts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster,
and treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on a turn of pitch-and-toss;
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone;
And so hold on when there is nothing in you,
Except the will which says to them: "Hold on.";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Rudyard Kipling

Norman Hindley 1.3.1926 - 23.11.2003

Fatal floor (well, wall actually, but floor sounds better)

I take it back. Since I wittered on about the scarily short time frame, our builders have worked like Trojans, (although with less of a focus on equine siege weapons and more on actually getting the job done). They have put the glass in the windows, ripped out the rest of the kitchen, installed the steels, levelled the floor, put in the electrics, built a cloakroom (nearly), and built a pantry. In fact, so enthusiastic were they, that they even built an extra 30 cm of wall where we didn't need it. This was a BAD thing.

The wall that they built is the left hand side of the pantry, which is also the back wall of the cloakroom, and which supports one of the steels. It all came down to a miscommunication on the plans. We told Gavin that we wanted to put our washing machine, which is also a tumble dryer, into the pantry so Gavin wrote "washer/dryer" on the plans. Interpreting this to mean that we wanted to put both a washing machine and a separate tumble dryer in the pantry, Nick took it on his own initiative to increase the depth of the pantry by around 30cms so that they would both fit. Ed noticed the mistake as soon as he saw the wall, and brought up the issue with Gavin and Nick the next morning. Cue much swearing and gnashing of teeth, and frantic calls by Gavin to Optiplan to work out whether the kitchen would still fit in the space available. Optiplan said that it would, so Gavin and Nick set about convincing us that the mistake would actually benefit us by giving us a bigger pantry and cloakroom. As I was already concerned about the amount of "sitting area" we were going to have at the far end of the kitchen I took quite some convincing that they had done us a favour. They really really really didn't want to demolish the wall a it would mean taking out the steel and building a new padstone support for it. This would have undoubtedly delayed things beyond the critical point for the kitchen fitters and thrown everything into disarray.
As soon as the screed floor had dried enough for us to walk on it Ed and I were in there measuring things and marking them out with whatever we had to hand - chopsticks as it turned out. We decided that we could live with a slightly smaller kitchen, and that the pantry would benefit from being a little larger, given how much we're planning on putting in it, so we've allowed ourselves to be persuaded, but it was yet another bit of stress that we didn't need on top of the various issues that have beset us over the last few weeks.
One benefit of the problem is that I have convinced Ed that we do need to get the dining table that I identified. It is a 90cm table that doubles in size when extended, which is quite rare as most usually just have an extra panel of 30cm or so. I have compromised on the chairs though and we're going to keep the ones that we've got and I'll re-cover them.

We're coping relatively well without the kitchen, although microwave food doesn't really agree with me. Fortunately the girls get a good meal at school/nursery and Ed buys half of Sainsburys for lunch each day, so he's OK. The best thing we've discovered is Morrisons fish pie, which is actually quite tasty. The worst was Morrisons risotto, which was disgusting.

Our poor neighbours have really suffered while the demolition was going on, with Amy threatening suicide at one stage. Fortunately things have quietened down somewhat now, plus we took them some wine to apologise.

This weekend the plasterer will be in doing his thing, and the floor is supposed to be going in Monday, then the kitchen will be installed Wednesday. Hopefully...

I can't post any photos at the moment as the camera has run out of battery, but I will as soon as we manage to recharge it!

Day whatever...

Well, there has been somewhat of a hiatus in the blogging of the building project, which has cunningly coincided with a hiatus in the actual building. Last week I arranged for a short notice week off work to remove Josie and myself from the proposed kitchen-free situation. What a good idea, I thought. I arrived on the Isle of Wight as planned, but the week was scuppered by Millie requiring an emergency tooth extraction under general anaesthetic on the Friday, me needing root canal work, and the builders not actually doing a blinking thing due to the fact that the glass for the main windows wasn't ready. As twitter would put it #fail.

Still we survived at least, and the builders worked on Sunday to finally rip the kitchen out by the roots, just in time for us to get back from the Isle of Wight, where we'd had to go to get Josie who had been left there for the duration of Millie's operation... confused yet? I was.

Yesterday and today (Tuesday) the builders have worked as if the full fury of my mother-in-law was snapping at their heels (in case they were wondering, it is). A text from my neighbour earlier today threatened that if she was driven to suicide due to the noise it would be all our fault. I feel guilty. But pleased that we are finally getting somewhere. Nick the builder did pop round to apologise for what Amy the neighbour termed "another day of hell". She is definitely suffering more than we are at the moment as we are at work/school most of the time.

We've had two days without a kitchen so far (the plan to leave erm, anything at all, in situ seems to have gone by the board as the urgency of the situation became clear). I have served up pitta and houmous and spaghetti on toast so far for the children, and a salad and fish pie (microwaved) and peas for Ed and I. I'm concerned that I've run out of inspiration and that Josie is going through a particularly picky eating phase at the moment, but I suppose this is kill or cure.

Speaking of the girls, we came back to a note yesterday telling us to stay out of the kitchen, because it is dangerous, and to be careful on the floor above. This concerned us somewhat as Josie's room is above, and although I don't actually think the whole lot is likely to collapse, it seemed provident to put Josie to sleep in Millie's room for the time being. This is an arrangement I have been lobbying for for some time, but one which Ed has refused adamantly up to now due to his fear that they would keep each other awake, wake each other up, and generally interfere with his beauty sleep. (It wouldn't interfere with mine other than for me to wake up and prod him to go and see what the matter is.) So far, his fears have proved unfounded as they slept like babies last night - in that Josie woke up screaming at 3 a.m. but that's standard, and she didn't wake Millie. They've gone off to sleep alright tonight too, so fingers crossed. If this works then we might look at them sharing officially for a while, which will leave us with a spare room for visiting relatives.

I can't face grappling with the camera to upload the photos tonight, so please just imagine a kitchen ceiling suspended on scaffolding and quite a lot of dust. Now I'd better post this before our geriatric laptop, which currently sounds like a contented cat on speed, finally gives up the ghost.

Day 24: Certificated

Well, very little of great note has occurred since last Wednesday. The roof is slightly more finished, but we still have no ground level windows or doors. Today one of the things that was holding up proceedings was resolved as our upstairs bathroom plumbing was rerouted so it didn't run below the roof line. The only external effect of this was the shiny new plughole and a length of white pipe - see photo. Josie did notice that the bath now makes a slightly different noise when emptying, but it's some way short of the "new bathroom" she declared it to be prior to having her bath.

I'm slightly alarmed at quite the amount of backpedaling that has occurred sine we slowed the project to keep pace with the kitchen install date. As far as I can tell there's a lot to be accomplished in the fifteen working days from next Monday, when they start knocking the old kitchen down, and the 22nd, by which time they will have had to have installed the doors and windows, made good the floor (which may simply be lying on bare earth our neighbours informed us), built a bathroom, supported the rest of the house on steels, built the pantry, plastered everything, built a wall around the dining room and knocked a window in said dining room and done all of the plumbing and electrics associated with the new kitchen including about a gazillion spotlights. We have also booked a decorator to come and paint the whole lot Magnolia (we really live in the edge in the Hopper household). This is due to take place prior to the kitchen install. Hmmm. That's ten individual quite large jobs that need doing, and even at the rate of one per day, they aren't going to make it. Of course, if we miss our kitchen install slot we are up a brown creek and there's no way it will be complete before Xmas. I say all this to you now dear readers, as my darling husband is adopting the ostrich approach to my concerns and muttering something along the lines of "lalalala I'm not listening!", so I need someone to sympathise with my concerns!

Anyway, we have finally heard from the council that the plans have been passed and a certificate issued, which I suppose is good news, if a little late in the day had there been any concerns.

Right, now I'm off to witter some more at Ed.

Day 21 - Let there be (roof) light(s)

Ed again...

Yay! Our extension is very nearly watertight, only a few more layers of slates to go on the left hand face of the new roof. In more exciting news, there are now four veluxes in the roof and the trifold door, the back door and the window ought to be in by the end of the week which is really pleasing. Of course, getting to "wind and weather proof" stage means paying another tranche of the invoice. ARRGGHHGHGHGH. Ahem. Sorry, I'm over it.

Of slight concern was the need for another steel to be put in to support the removal of the old fireplace in the kitchen. Gavin knocked a little hole into the wall in the kitchen to check that the party wall between our house was two bricks thick. He took out one brick and, fortunately, it is two bricks thick otherwise we would be left with a handy serving hatch through to Number 49.

It also occurs to me that once we have the doors and windows in the new walls our cats won't be able to get out on their regular ablutionary expeditions. Obviously, Helen lacks sympathy for the poor little furry beasts but I suspect that I might have to break out my "second cheapest in B&Q" jigsaw and winkle out a little hole in the new door for cat ingress/egress.

Hopefully, tomorrow I'll get home early enough to instruct Helen to take a picture of the TOP of the roof before the light goes.

Right, offski. It's the finale to tonight's exciting edition of Masterchef "The Professionals".

Days 19 and 20: Dig dig dig

Ok, so we didn't post anything yesterday but that is because nothing much happened. Apparently it was a "delivery day". Well I don't know what was being delivered or where it was being delivered to but I can confirm that there wasn't a single extra thing in the garden at the end of the day that hadn't been there at the start.

So anyway, the roofers arrived this morning to start living up to their name and thank heavens there was a roof covering on before the heavens opened at 5 p.m this evening. There are even a few tiles on as well. Apparently we will be watertight by Friday.

On consultation with Gavin the plan is that they will continue working on the new bit of kitchen, doing the first fix of the electrics and finishing off the walls etc, and then they'll start demolishing the existing kitchen w/c 1 November. This is fine, although doesn't quite gel with our pre-made arrangements to be away during the particularly kitchen-less bit. This will all link seamlessly with the arrival of the kitchen fitters w/c 22nd Nov.

Gavin also noted that Ed had said that he would dig out the area in front of the new trifold door himself. Gavin kindly offered to do it for us for the princely sum of just £840. Instead it took Ed 15 minutes in the pouring rain and it was done to the extent that it needs to be to get the trifold door in. To be fair, Gavin was going to dig out 2m worth and prep the area for a patio, but frankly, the way the budget is going he'd have been very lucky to get that gig. We won't even want a patio area until next Spring anyway.

Day 18: The last bricks done

Ed again:

The builders finished the end wall today and did a bit more furtling around with the rafters (see below) to get things ready for the four velux windows we are going to have dotted about the place.

The yellow plastic is to stop water getting down inside the walls if it rains overnight.

In that vein, Builder Number #1 told me sternly this morning that I would need to paint something(s) called the "Soffits" and the "Fascias" with two coats of undercoat and a gloss coat as a matter of some urgency lest "blowing" take place.

I took this to be a BAD THING so I popped to the local DIY store and relieved myself of some £35 (!!!) for undercoat, gloss, paint brush and paint brush cleaning stuff.

Thus armed I plan to give the wood a damn good coat of painting at tomorrow (Sat) after Helen has been on the local Parkrun and I've taken Millie to ballet. Rock and roll.

======= Day 18 and a half =======

As Saturday's and Sunday's don't merit their own entries (they aren't official "Days" by the rules of this blog), I am happy to also tell both of our readers that I have done the first coat of undercoat of the soffits and fascias.

The wood now defintely looks whiter than before and Socks is very pleased with the little pedestal which Builder Number #2 has built for her (it can't have been Builder Number #1 because, as avid blog readers will be aware, him hatey de catins).

Right, enough with all this blogging. It's the X-factor, don't you know.

Day 17 : a bit more done

Ed here, once again, and we missed a day. Sorry to all avid 5 blog readers.


Anyway, looking back to Thursday, here is a nice picture of an extension with a roof on it! We were amazed to see how quickly the clever roofer types managed to build it.


There was a certain amount of allusion by our builder towards some sort of painful additional costs incurred etc etc but luckily I managed to say "lalalalalala" in my head and have now forgotten all of what he said. Good.

Just a short post for Thursday, with an exciting longer post to follow shortly for Friday.

Day 16: Tall Walls

After a somewhat unsettled night childwise, with little Jo of woe waking us charmingly at 3 a.m. with a regurgitation performance that put Linda Blair to shame, work was a struggle today. How delightful, therefore, to come home and find some extremely tall walls. There is now scaffolding around and inside the walls to facilitate the putting on of the roof. Good.

We had another letter from Reading BC today telling us that our application for a certificate of lawfulness was incomplete as it didn't include the requisite number of copies of the "before" and "after" floorplans. Sigh. If only we knew somewhere with hundreds of photocopiers...

We have yet to hear how Gavin's consultation with James the kitchen guy went today. I get the impression that several pints may have been involved, so hopefully Gavin will have convinced James that we are Optiplan's favourite customer and they should just get a blinking move on already.

Day 15: Rocking all over the Garden

Back to the blog again today after my brief hiatus. I will be demanding a rematch on the badminton front. At least now I know how I'm supposed to serve, so I shall look to build on that!


I worked from home today. This meant that my cogitations were accompanied by the builders' choice of music as they merrily piled brick upon brick in their quest to reach the mysterious "plate" by the end of the week. I love delicious coincidence so was thrilled when Pink Floyd's "(Another brick in) The Wall" came on. [If the Welhams are reading this - note the strategic use of pub quiz song title brackets!] This was followed by The mighty Quo and Rocking all over the World - marvellous fun. May have gone a bit far in informing Twitter that my builders were "Bricking all over the Garden."


A lady from Reading building control came around and I heard her pronounce the very words "That's fine, you can carry on." I am taking this as gold standard reassurance that everything is going to be fine with the council.

A small issue has come to light regarding the supporting of the remainder of the chimney breast which will be suspended above the new cloakroom. Apparently there are still too many bricks up there to just leave it unsupported, so we're going to need another steel. This will need to be lodged in the wall between us and our neighbours. In order to check that the wall is suitable for supporting a steel Gavin is going to come round and poke a hole in our wall to see how thick it is... there is a small risk that he will poke right through into our neighbours' house. Amy and John have just finished a complete renovation of their house including replastering all of the walls, so you can imagine how popular Gavin will be if he suddenly appears through an impromptu peephole.

This afternoon the man from Optiplan came round to measure up for the kitchen. All was going swimmingly until he said: "OK, so we'll be looking to start installation on November 22nd." Now, for those of you enlightened souls who have read the Twilight novels, you'll know that "Edward's" reaction to stress is to become unnaturally still. My Edward is somewhat the same. "Hmmm," he said, as we both mentally noted that our kitchen is coming out on Monday next week, so this will leave us nearly SIX WEEKS without a kitchen! We have asked Gavin to have a word with the chief kitchen guy to see if he can hurry them along a little, and actually, we can get Gavin to do all of his bits and just re-wire and re-plumb our existing cooker, fridge and dishwasher into the new kitchen, but this isn't ideal in any sense.

Simon, the Optiplan guy, told us that if we spotted any problems after the initial install we should bring them up immediately with the fitters, noting cheekily that, "there's an important date about a month from the 22nd November that you'll want it finished by!" "Yes," said I, "My mother-in-law is coming to visit then, and if it's not flipping perfect I shall ask her to sort out whoever is responsible." I hope this has stricken fear into his very soul.

This really is a bit of a blow, although all seasoned renovators will now be nodding their heads sagely at our naivete. We had rather hoped that we'd be done and dusted by mid-November, but it doesn't look like there's a cat's chance in hell that it will be. Speaking of cats, I swopped several amusing cat-related anecdotes with Nick the builder this morning. Neither of us are enormous fans of the furry little monsters, so we passed a fun ten minutes swopping stories of mild cat torture, and in his case, taking matters into his own hands when the vet wanted to charge him £40 to put his girlfriend's cat down...

Days 14 : Walls!! (Sausages)

So then, it's 13 days into our 30-40 day project and the walls are just about eye height and Helen has got bored writing the blog and I've been drafted in to do it.

I see myself as more of an amusing commentator rather than an original content generator so I'm not sure what to put except that the walls went up at breakneck speed today and should be finished up to "plate" (which is builder speak for something I didn't really understand at the first pass) by Wednesday afternoon.

The kitchen fitters are coming tomorrow afternoon so I need to be here to make decisions and sound definite about things when the occasion demands. I'm not looking forward to it as I might end up getting the sink cut into the granite some inches too far to the left/right. Oooh, the pressure.

On another note, Helen lost to Mel at Badminton this evening. Badminton is a game which Helen has never previously played but in which she was confident of a famous victory as recently as 8.00pm this evening.

Right. Offski. Enjoy the pics.

Day 13: Friday - Tatt's the way to do it!

Despite the inauspicious omens and yesterday's mood of doom, today has gone very well from a construction point of view. The sun was shining, and it's my day off work, the juxtaposition of which gave me an unparalleled opportunity to learn more about the builders by analysing their body art. Chief builder Nick apparently has two children, Ellie and Jack, of whom he is very fond... at least one presumes so, given that he has their names inscribed in three inch high letters across his back. Actually maybe Ellie is his wife, and Jack his son - I didn't ask for detail. I'm not really allowed to talk with the practical men, as it turns out my ability to understand anything even remotely architectural conforms depressingly to the female stereotype. Ed has spent the entire evening so far trying to explain how the supporting steels are going to hold the house up, and eventually forced me to peer through at our neighbours extension to "see how they've done it". I dutifully looked and made a good show of seeing the light - fortunately my dramatic skills are far superior to my spatial awareness.

So now we actually have a little tiny two-brick-high wall around the new bit, which is very helpful for visualising the new space. Much muttering is still going on on the topic of plumbing and supporting structure etc, and our neighbours have helpfully told us that they needed to have cartloads of concrete shoved under the end of the original house as they don't have any footings either. As the practical men have already concreted round the outside of the original bit, if they're going to do any digging, they'll have to do it from the inside, which sounds like something that will cause an unholy mess, but as we're only a week away from that in any case, I guess we'll be getting used to it!

A proper domestic goddess would be spending the weekend cooking up a storm to create freezer stock of meals so that we can microwave them once the oven is out of action, but it's going to be sunny, so I'm going shopping in Gunwharf with my sister and her small son. Then on Sunday I'll be exhausted from all that shopping so I'm going to Nirvana Spa with the fabulous Mrs Stickley. So no extra-curricular cooking for me!

In order to prepare himself for spending tomorrow wrangling three under-fives including the CRAZY Finlay while Sally and I hit the shops, Ed has gone for a curry with Mr Stickley and his Charvil massive. It's so sweet, they even have matching shirts on (Bloke uniform when they're not sure what to wear: jeans and a blue/white striped shirt.) This leaves me at home with a nice supply of wine, and an evening's unrestricted girlie viewing. Result!

Day 12: Bucket loads of concrete

I should have written this yesterday but was struck with a bout of blogger's ennui i.e. just couldn't be bothered You can tell by my melancholy expression in the photo and the apparent wringing of hands that I clearly wasn't in the mood. Not sure quite where the demeanour of doom had come from, but it passed swiftly and with no casualties (Ed is very good at the "duck and cover" tactic when such a situation occurs.) Anyway, they poured bucket loads of concrete and left it to set...

What a misery!

Day 11: Floor and Flaws

I had sort of expected there to be more verticality to the build today, but apparently you need to do a bit more than just plonk bricks together, so today the guys have been laying the foundations for the floor, which they are presumably going to pour concrete into tomorrow.

Gavin has also emailed Ed with a list of yet more little plumbing foibles that need sorting out - all small things, but totalling around £500 altogether. Unfortunately I think some of the plumbing is the original Victorian stuff and it's in need of refreshment. More concerningly from a budget point of view Gavin is now worried that knocking down the chimney breast may have a detrimental effect on the remaining bits of chimney breast above it on the second floor, so we need to get the surveyor to check that it's not all going to collapse the minute they approach it with a sledgehammer. Also, it turns out the house has no foundations, so the building inspector may insist that we have the two load-bearing corners underpinned before we can proceed. Coming from the Isle of Wight as I do, the word "underpinning" strikes fear into my very heart and wallet, as it was a relatively common requirement for houses built on the slippy slidy gault or "Blue Slipper" clay of the Island and always cost an absolute fortune. Ed is more insouciant about it, but I should think there'll be some hissing through teeth before the end of this partiular chapter.

What is, quite literally, a tonne of bricks, has been delivered onto the back garden, and they are all reclaimed and look fairly lovely and very clean considering. It's rather exciting to think that they'll soon be part of our house!

Day 10: Hans Brix!!!!

Hurray, for finally we have some bricks laid down in the trench in a kitchen extension sort of a shape. Looks like they finished fiddling about with the plumbing and managed to crack on a bit with the actual building. Hopefully the building control guy from Reading BC will be happy with what they've done. He's still sending us dire warnings through the post that if we don't get approval it'll all have to come down again...

I've just noticed that if Josie conforms to the theory that at two years old you are half of your adult height, then she's going to be a midget. Clearly taking after Aunty Beth. Mind you, she makes a lot of noise for one so small, and has just spent the past half hour screaming at the injustice of being put to bed.

Day nine (I think): If it's not rain it's drain.

This weekend I had a makeover at the hairdressers, bought a cloakroom suite, made a lemon cheesecake and attended a fifth birthday party along with a "Cinderella" entertainer so stunning that she made every Dad's jaw hit the floor as she walked in. It was fun watching their brains scramble for equilibrium.

Saturday we nipped to Wickes and bought a very budget bathroom suite. £199 for this piece of plumbing mastery. Time will no doubt tell us whether this is a false economy.

Today dawned fairly promisingly with the main weather front having moved through overnight, so the practical types were here bright and early to crack on with the construction. They've apparently spent most of the day wrangling with the drainage system, however, and it was but for the grace of God that Ed looked up at the side of the house BEFORE either of us made a comfort visit to our ensuite bathroom... those pipes in no way line up.

Gavin emailed us at about 7.00 p.m. to inform us that we hadn't got a usable ensuite bathroom - helpful. Apparently he's coming round tomorrow to give it a good hard coat of looking at.

Apart from that there are a couple of new drain hatches, and a tonne of bricks on the front lawn, plus a load of sand. I did watch the Countryfile weather report yesterday, but I can't remember all the details. It's that odd time of year where TV programmes are all punctuated by people who are doing Strictly, so you're never quite sure whether they're about to do a Cha cha cha or at any given moment. Countryfile's Matt Baker is pretty damn good already, and frankly, I just checked out his CV - he has the credentials!

I must say I thought Ann Widdicombe was also very entertaining on Saturday evening and with the politician's rhinoceros-hide and her quick wit, I think she'll be quite popular in a John Sargent style, even if the dancing is shocking. A friend referred to her as yet another example of the cruel and unusual punishment being meted out to Anton Du Beke for managing to cause a race row on the BBC's beloved Strictly...

Gosh, I've completely digressed. Anyway, so hopefully the drainage will get done tomorrow and they'll start putting some of those bricks together...

First foot(ings)

After some criticism (Musgrove, E) that the focus of the blog seems to be more on the anticipatory purchase of decorative furniture, and less on actual construction, I'm pleased to report that today we have seen proper building-like stuff going on. The footings have been laid/poured/whatever'd. The Ha-Ha is no more (Ed'll be relieved, he hates feeling stupid.)


We were a little concerned that the water/sewage interface issue was going to cause a delay, but apparently it's all going to be redone anyway, so it doesn't matter, although the builder also took a photo of the unconventional pipework as he'd never seen anything like it.


In addition to pouring the concrete, which was apparently done via guerilla vehicle manouevres due to the congested parking situation outside our house, the builders also demolished the outside loo. It's been pretty useful, that loo, and now we've got to find somewhere else to store guinea pig food, potatoes and beer, but its time had come. At least once the new loo is created we won't be freezing our bottoms off when we want a wee.


The loo was where the green-painted wall is now.


I think it's now a case of waiting a couple of days while the concrete "goes off" ... or something, and then they can start building the walls.
At some point Ed and I are going to have to put some serious effort into boxing up/chucking out all the stuff in the kitchen in preparation for the deconstruction of the exterior walls. I'm hoping we've got another week or so before we get to that stage though.
Right, I'm shattered and Ugly Betty is on soon, so it's definitely beer and TVo'clock!

Day Six: (Yet another) Unscheduled Hole

So, the building inspector did go round yesterday and he decided that there needed to be an extra inspection hatch on the drains other than the one that is going to be underneath the new kitchen floor. Fair enough, but it meant that the team spent most of today deciding where that was going to be and digging it out, as well as exposing the sewage pipe for the underfloor inspection hatch.



A couple of years ago a nice man from Southern Water came round and informed us that he'd been tracking "the largest mains water leak in Reading" for some time, and had narrowed the source down to the pipework beneath our house. His argument was fairly compelling. First, when he turned off the water supply and placed a full pint glass of water under our kitchen tap, the vacuum created sucked the entire glass down in about four seconds. And secondly, if you listened hard in the kitchen, you could actually hear the water gushing somewhere nearby... rather like a Japanese formal garden, but less relaxing. So we paid £300 to get a new "breakthrough" pipe drilled to the house. And thought nothing further of it.



Imagine our surprise this evening, therefore, to find that the new breakthrough pipe had actually been bored straight through the sewage pipe.

Blue pipe = water, Brown pipe = poo.


So tomorrow Ed will be getting on to Southern Water to find out what they intend to do about this. The donkeys.

It feels all rather as though the schedule is slipping slightly from the initial six week estimate (which, fortunately, we never really believed). The ultimate aim is to have it finished by Xmas, as Ed's mum is coming to stay with us for our first "proper" family Christmas at home.

The builder also mentionedthat the weather is due to be bad tomorrow so they don't think that they'll get a lot done... this was after telling Ed a "funny" anecdote where the back wall of one of the houses that they're working on literally fell in when the lady of the house leaned a ladder against it to climb up and paint the soffits. Fortunately the lady in question was unharmed, but the builders spent all weekend rebuilding her wall. (There is a technical reason why it fell down, and it's not actually as bad as it sounds, but it does sound quite bad!)

So a "meh" sort of day overall really.

Day Five: It was hard to resist climbing in the hole...

...so we didn't. Here we are in our hole, Josie demonstrating how exactly "as tall as she is" it is. Saturday was a bright and sunny day, so we thought we'd take advantage of it by taking pictures of ourselves in a trench, as you do.

After the photo shoot we scooted into town as Ed needed new work trousers. It was a broadly successful trip as he did find some, although Josie rebelled to the extent that she had hidden herself in a rack of clothes by the time Ed came out of the dressing room, and passers-by were therefore surprised to hear him shouting "Come out you little monster!" at a rack full of shirts, and then shoving his arm in up to the shoulder and producing a protesting toddler from the depths.

Whilst in John Lewis (chicken soup for the soul of the aspirational middle classes) we noticed a rather nice tub chair in the ex-display clearance sale. I'd already identified this range as a potential "relaxed seating area" option online and was interested to note that the chair was on offer at a £50 discount. I still needed to do some work on Ed, however, so we didn't purchase it there and then. After about 90 minutes of wheedling back home, Ed agreed that it was indeed a bargain, and that he'd only be annoyed if I made him buy the same chair fully-priced in three months' time, so I despatched him after church on Sunday to go and purchase the wonderful chair.

Here it is, residing in its temporary home in our bedroom:

Now isn't that a lovely chair? Before anyone suggests that it isn't really a practical colour for a kitchen/children, may I just say Lalalalala I'm not listening.

So, on to today's construction activities. The building inspector has apparently been round today to check that we're not building the Taj Mahal in our back garden. We haven't heard anything to the contrary so assume that all is OK. There has been some further garden clearance work carried out though, which was a bit of a bonus as we weren't sure that they were going to get anything done today. You can see from the picture below that a rather large ivy has been stripped away from the wall, and some of the hedge has been removed from further up the garden so they've got room to turn round while they're building. Not a terribly exciting day project-wise, but more than made up for by Sunday's purchase of the lovely chair!

Day Four: Unscheduled hole

On Fridays I look after little Jojo, so I was thinking it would be a good idea to be out of the house as much as possible while all the work is going on. After the school coffee morning in aid of Macmillan (Josie biscuit tally = 6), I decided to head into town and make sure that all the shops were still there. Fairly sure I saw the boss's car parked on Level One of the Oracle, but I'm sure that would be a meeting with e.g. Reading Council rather than an early raid on the shops!! After a bimble round Primark (damage = a sweater, a T-Shirt, and seven pairs of knickers for Millie), and a trip to Fabricland for haberdashery, we headed over to Tesco later than usual and got the weekly shop in. Fortunately Josie was still too stuffed from all her coffee morning biscuits to make much of a demand for food as we went round.

Back at the house and the most consistently present of the builders (I have been introduced to them all by name, but I haven't a clue which one this is) was practically finished digging out the foundations. To say that Jo was thrilled to bits with him is putting it mildly. Currently we have a glass door in the dining room right next to where the footings are being dug, which made an excellent vantage point for Jojo to observe what he was doing without plopping straight into the hole.

As I was surveying the site from behind Jo I noticed that a rather lovely Victorian pipe runs through the hole right be the dining room, and I also noted that there is a 6 inch diameter hole in the pipe. "Oh well, I thought to myself, that was probably there already". Alas apparently not. According to the builder guy they had looked at it and been unable to see what it might serve, tso had commenced hacking into it, only to look (I imagined wistfully) up and realise that the guttering runs straight into the ground not two feet away... could THAT be what the pipe is for? Could it? Why probably yes. So we may be looking at needing to replace that pipe. I say we I mean Gavin and his team.

Consistent builder knocked on the door at about two-ish, just after site manager Josie had been prised away from the door and put down for her nap, and informed me he'd done as much as he could so was heading off, although a mate might be back later to look at the pipe of woe. Sure enough whilst I was busy tinkling the ivories, someone else did show up, but I was in the middle of murdering some poor defenceless tune so couldn't be bothered to try and ask technical questions.

So now I'm feeling all Capability Brown, as we effectively have a Ha-Ha all around the back of our house, although to be fair it is posing no difficulty at all to the livestock, both cats leaping disdainfully across it to lay their commemorative logs of disapproval in the newly turned earth.

Our cats nearly caused the builders we had in at Carnarvon Road to quit the site as they persisted in leaving little "presents" in the piles of dust etc involved in the build.

So I guess that is it now until Monday - do builders work on weekends? I don't know... We'll be spending the next two days trying to prevent Millie and Josie from plunging headfirst into the crevasse...

Today's photos

See pipe? See hole?

Socks returning from one of her ablutionary expeditions

The Ha-Ha, and now I notice it, Socks heading off for one of her ablutionary missions.

Day Three: Bigger hole

This morning a small army of practical men turned up to excavate the garden. The outcome of Ed's consultation with Gavin was that yes, they had dug out 30cm too far, but fortunately we noticed before they dug the end trench.

Getting home this evening we found that the majority of the footings had been dug, making the garden a very un-Hoplet-friendly place. Naturally both girls immediately wanted to investigate, but they haven't fallen in the hole yet.

A tremendous thunderstorm and downpour this evening made me wonder whether we'd end up with a pool, but it all seems to have drained away remarkably quickly thank goodness.

In other news, the administrator at Optiplan confirmed that Argos no longer sell the barstools, but happy day, she knows of another stockist, so we are back in the game for comfy sophisticated seating options.

Tomorrow I'll be at home with Josie, so it'll be interesting to see what they manage to get through. I'm hoping they migh finish the footings and maybe even pour the concrete, although I guess that will depend rather a lot on the weather. Hopefully the storm will blow itself out overnight.

Picture from today:

Great big hole

The practical men have been at it all day and the result is a great big hole alongside our neighbours' extension. They've filled one skip and replaced it with another. An odd concrete pad has been unearthed towards the far end of the hole, which we think may have been original footings for the lean-to that was there about forty years ago. The hole looks like this:



Small child included for scale - it's about as deep as she is tall.


Also note evidence of "Mumsy crafts" in the papier mache balloon in the window. Mum of the Year, that's me (last year, when we actually made the thing). Note further that the balloon is only half painted and refer to previous post re: DIY - they don't call us "Half a job Hoppers" for nothing!



So, we have a hole. We're not entirely sure that the hole has the correct dimensions, as the practical men have dug it out in line with our neighbours' extension, and for the project to come under "permitted development" rules, we can only take the building out by three metres. Next door's extension is 3.30m, so Ed will be having a chat with Gavin about the extra 30cm in the morning. Maybe you have to add a bit to footings? Who knows?


In other news, I discovered today that Argos no longer seems to be selling the barstools that I had my heart set on. They're the ones used in the Optiplan showroom and are lovely wood and leather gas-pump ones. I have made Ed email James at Optiplan and find out if he knows the part code for them so I can get in touch with Argos, or failing that, whether he'd be willing to sell the display ones to us - I love them that much.


So, all is going well so far it seems. The only collateral damage until now has been the disconnection of the water pipe for the dishwasher and washing machine. Ed has stuck it back together with gaffer tape, so that's all right then...


Speaking of dishwashers, we'll have a half size one going for a bargain price before the end of the project. We've only had it a year and it has changed Ed's life - his hands are so soft, etc. I think we paid about £140 for it but if anyone wants to make me a sensible offer for it get in touch! It's a Proline one and is about 55cm wide. We'll also be looking to shift the sideboard that it once took Ed an ENTIRE DAY to build, and matching extending table in cherry wood.


The sideboard has its on amusing tale in that when it was delivered it was back in the day when I was driving a lovely BMW Z3 convertible, which was parked on the drive. The doorbell rang and Ed answered it to the delivery guy, and explained where the sideboard (in kit form) should be put. As the guy left he turned to Ed and said, "Nice car lad, does it belong to your Mum?" Husband = mortified. Of course Ed looks a lot more haggard these days, what with the cares of the world on his shoulders and all...

Day One - breaking ground

So, it's Day One of the great kitchen extension project. We've been delayed slightly due to a hold up on Gavin's previous project thanks to the atrocious weather in August, so we've been champing at the bit rather to get things going. (Before Ed gets completely cold feet about the cost and cancels the entre thing!)

Sure enough, on leaving the house at 8 this morning there was a nice white van with a couple of practical looking types in the front seats. I was slightly disappointed to find on returning from the school run at 9 a.m that they had vanished. Oh well, I knuckled down to some serious copywriting and was rewarded at about 10.15 by the appearance of a very bleary looking Gavin who has apparently got the cold from hell. I stood well back while he explained that the skip was on its way.

At approx 10.35 the two practical chaps were back, and started ripping out the bay trees and raised beds that were sitting where my lovely new dining area is going to be. It was like extreme Gardeners World as they slashed and hacked and bashed at the poor defenceless wildlife.

The skip arrived and kind neighbour John let me move his car so we could plonk it right outside.

Lunchtime: posted about the work starting on Facebook. Realised half an hour later that this might have been a mistake as the boss commented on it. Hoped that she would accept that my "writing day" was really all about getting some work done and not about spying on the builders. I've actually been very productive today - I think the industry of the practical men was infectious!

By the end of the day the skip was half full and the bay trees and raised beds are no more. They must have shifted about a tonne of soil as well which is pretty good going.

At some point I will write out a full spec of the work that we're having done and the reason behind it, but for expediency's sake here's a rough breakdown:

• Single story extension three metres out from the back of our house and filling in the side return.


• Lots of windows and velux's and an oak trifold door at the end.


• Addition of a downstairs indoor loo (our current one is outside) and re-creation of a corridor to enclose the dining room once again. This returns the house to something like its original Victorian layout.

There will be a pantry in the kitchen. It is starting to assume the dimensions of the TARDIS as we keep thinking of handy things that we can store in there - starting with the washing machine and working upwards.

After having carried out several only moderately successful DIY projects in the past (tip: never mention tiling, gloss painting or cat flaps) we are very much fans of "getting a man in", or several men, if the project requires. While generally this approach yields nothing but advantages, it does lead to a certain inertia on our part when something goes wrong but we don't get around to "getting a man" e.g. today, we finally had an electrician back to sort out the light in our loft conversion ensuite, as it has been non-functioning for 6 months which was fine in Summer but is now difficult as it means showering in the dark. It took all of James' considerable electrical qualifications to enable him to screw the light bulb in a bit tighter...

Here is today's picture: